why is it that no matter how many times you have heard something and agreed with it, that you always end up failing to do it? there are so many times that i either hear something or read something from the bible that is just screaming “listen bonnie!” and at the time i say “oh yeah” and then even days later i find myself continuing on with my way as if i hadn’t heard/seen it at all. then awhile down the road i’m reminded yet again and the cycle continues. i know i’m not the only one out there. doesn’t everyone yearn for someone to tell them exactly what they are supposed to be doing in life? so often someone does and we are too blinded by our own selfish desires to listen. and how many of us hear that little voice in our heads telling us to do or not do something and no matter how loud that voice gets we still choose to ignore it? how many of us take each and every second for granted as if we will have the next one and the next one only later to hear on the news of some freak accident that took the life of a little one or an unexpected illness claiming the life of someone’s loved one? i know you are thinking (as well as i am even typing this) that yeah yeah these are all great points but who cares. but really shouldn’t we all care? for in the next second i or you could die of a fluke accident whether it be a heart attack or a gun shot, both of which seem highly unlikely but don’t you think the people it happens to thought the same thing? and another thing….don’t you find it eerily funny that the people you find yourself judging at first sight often end up being your best friend or in some form a better friend to you than you ever thought possible? isn’t it funny how God works? how He can stick the very thing in your face that you try so hard to avoid? life is funny but God is even funnier. i’d like to spend a day with God and watch all the amazing things He can do…..but then again don’t I have that opportunity everyday? A friend to pop up just when you least expect it, a new born baby, a beautiful sunrise/sunset, hugs, kisses, that little tingle in your tummy when someone you love looks your way, the stars at night, dreams to follow, family and friends, a not so graceful moment just so you will take a moment to laugh at yourself, jelly donuts :), etc. thank you God!
bonnie
achooooo!
what a perfect way to end the year….with a cold. i didn’t know it was possible to sneeze in your sleep but i found out last night. about 15 sneezes and 20 tissues later i had to get up and come to work. i was just here thinking that today is the last day of the year. usually i’m sad to see another year go by but i am very anxious to see what this new year can bring. 2003 wasn’t the most wonderful of years but all in all i am in good health and i have many people that i love that love me too, so that’s all i need. i’m not going to make any resolutions this year. mainly because no one ever sticks to them anyway. i will make a few hopes and dreams and see what happens along the way.
i hope to be more enthusiastic in 2004, more positive, less selfish, and more active. I dream to find the something i am good at and…to stop complaining about the little things when i have so much to be thankful for. (i know that it seems an impossible task justin but i’ll try hehe)
so what do you plan on doing with your year?
catch up…
I figured since it’s been awhile and you all are dying to know what’s going on in my life, i would enlighten you…Gardner-Webb ever so nicely paid us early for December (12th) for Christmas, but now we have to go 45 days until the next pay check. I’ve paid all my bills and now pretty much have no money until the 25th of January. Only 26 more days to go 🙁 Oh well, it could be worse.
The weekend before Christmas my family and I surprised my oldest sister Erin by showing up at her house. She did a live nativity scene outside her church with her youth group. Boy are they a wild bunch. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more “live” nativity. All in all it was a good turn out and lots of fun.
This year for Christmas, my family decided not to do Christmas presents. It was actually one of the best Christmas’ I’ve had. The only bad thing was not being able to see my sister Erin and Mike. Their dog got really sick and almost died so they had to stay and take care of it. It was great to be home and spend time with my family. Some of my high school crew were home for the holidays too and we went out to eat and played uno. It was like we hadn’t stepped a day outside of high school or away from each other. It’s amazing how you can make friends that when you finally do see each other again you still feel that sense of “home”. I didn’t realize how much I missed them until I was with them for a short time.
I drove up to Justin’s parents’ house on Christmas afternoon. Justin asked me when I got there if he could use my truck to haul some wood for his PaPaw down the road. His dad was telling him to hurry because we had presents to still unwrap. About 5/10 minutes later he came back and we opened presents. I got to the presents he gave me and opened one. the box said it was a cd player but it was too light so i opened it to find a cd. then another box came and i got a cd visor and another cd. then justin told me to follow him outside and he brought me to my truck and i found the cd player already installed. the lil stinker hehe. Isn’t he awesome! This Christmas was so awesome! It seems I have everything I had wished for.
Before I left to go back home Justin checked my truck because it was smelling like gas and what do you know I had a gas leak. He spent much of the early afternoon fixing it for me (you’re awesome honey!) God really was watching out for me.
Justin and I met his Polk County crew in Hendersonville at Outback for his dad and amy’s bdays. Then I followed justin home in the truck. We had walkie talkies so it made it lots of fun on the way home.
Well I think that pretty much catches things up.
my honey
(i’m sorry if this embarrasses you in any way justin but afterall….this is my journal 😉 i love you very much! )The past little while justin has been so sweet (not that he isn’t always…well most of the time hehe) but he really has just been there for me no matter what. he hasn’t complained or really said anything negative. 2 nights ago he went with me to Lowes to get a peep hole for my apartment. we have been having someone ring our doorbell late at night and it’s just scary for two girls alone at night. he went with me without saying a word about it and helped me find what i needed and even installed it when we got home. and the other night when i had gotten some bad news about my family he came over around 1130pm even though he had to go to work in the morning, just to let me talk and help me feel better. there are so many day to day things that he does. even if it’s just a smile when i need one. or two arms to wrap around me or a gentle kiss on my forehead. he just makes my heart smile. thank you justin for all you do for me!
noisy
ever have one of those mornings when you eat breakfast yet your tummy continues to make endless chatter wanting more?
when it rains…
well…this has been an interesting weekend. i ended up working on saturday from 9-330 and then went to the best christmas concert! carl cartee! i wish someday he really would sing at my wedding. oh well…one can dream. then today i went to church and at childrens’ time pastor stan asked the kids if they wanted to share anything and little natalie said “my daddy doesn’t live with me anymore” how embarrassing for her mom. kids really do say the darndest things. after church was the bookstore christmas party ( i know brandon…another party hehe) we all met at wayne’s house and ate lunch…mmmm then we finally got home.
i realized i had missed a call from my sister so i called her back to find she had some bad news. my dad found out today that they are kicking him off unemployment in less than 2 weeks. talk about some notice! merry christmas to them too! he was supposed to have it until april. now i don’t know what we are gonna do 🙁 kelly said my mom cried much of the day and my dad really hasn’t said much of anything but i know he is hurting and stressing. now that i’ve had to start repaying college loans i dont have much money to spare but i will do my best to give what i can and my sisters will too but even with all of that it’s still not enough. i guess i just don’t understand how things work sometimes. i know God always knows what He is doing but it doesn’t mean i do. my family has definitely been through worse times but i sure cant wait to see how this one will work out. i love God and i know He loves me….i just wish that something special could be done for my parents. they are so awesome! and i feel so helpless. please pray something will turn up soon. thanks guys!
thanksgiving/everything
this year thanksgiving was awesome (not that it isn’t every year) but i got to be home with my family and also spend time with justin’s. everyone just seemed to really enjoy it and not stress over silly things. my parents had been saving up here and there to be able to buy everything for the meal. bi-lo bonus card deals helped too with a free turkey.
it also looks like my sister finally got heating put in at the daycare. now she might be able to sleep a little past 5 and not have to try to warm the place up. i tell you people take their dear sweet time these days.
my family went to see my gma over the holidays, all of us together. i had never been to see my gma in her new room and wing. i miss her! it was pretty scary in there. i kinda feel helpless. but there really isn’t anything that can be done.
my dad is still looking for work. any ideas? he thought he had gotten a job and then they tried to screw him over from the start. i love my daddy….i honestly don’t know how he deals with everything thrown at him but i am soooo proud of him. kelly keeps getting a few new kids here and there and hopefully soon will be able to pay my mom. i know we will all get through this soon.
also anyone reading this please pray for my friend mandy’s family and nanny. she is not doing too good and i love them all so much!
well…it’s saturday and guess where i am……at work. jillian is supposed to be here any minute so we can finish up sending books to GOAL professors. wish us luck.
prayers
ok guys, so things aren’t going so well again for my family. please keep up the prayers if you don’t mind. i really appreciate it! maybe some good news will come soon.
hope i dont fall asleep during the prayer in church tonight…..vewy sweepppy
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