life

i was told by a friend to “get on it” hehe about writing another entry. i didn’t think anyone really read this but i’m glad to have a fan or two hehe. thanks matt! well…this year hasn’t exactly gotten off to a good start. one of my good friends from gwu, justin alston, passed away on the 17th. his funeral was this past thursday in greensboro. i didn’t think i was going to be able to get there but luckily gwu took some vans to the funeral. my boss let me take a comp day and so i went. on the way there we all shared fun stories about justin and how he always made us laugh. i think we all just didnt want the realness of the situation to kick in. we got there about an hour early and the church was already half full. many people that i graduated with were there. doctors, nurses, family, friends, and the whole phys. ed. department from gwu was there too. i couldn’t bring myself to go up to see justin’s body. i just couldn’t. even with the tugs from friends i just sat down in the pew. all i could see was his forehead. it just didn’t seem like it could be real. then…they started playing “angels among us”, “the dance”, “hope you dance” and some other song about a mom and a son having to say goodbye. i thought i was going to lose it before the service began. i was able to keep all but a few tears in. then every few minutes i just would lose it. all the songs that people sung were just perfect and there wasn’t a dry eye in the place. the balcony was full too. i really lost it when they started wheeling him out of the church. i just couldn’t fathom how his mom and family were feeling if i was having such a hard time with it and i was just a pretty good friend of his. at the end of the service people stood up and shared stories and told things about justin. that was so hard but so meaningful to see how he had touched so many peoples’ lives. the procession to the cemetary had to be at least a mile long. you couldnt see the beginning or the end. once there we were able to speak to the family. his mom remembered me coming to see justin in the hospital and said she had a picture of me and justin at an awards banquet. oh how i wished i could see it. he just meant so much to all of us. he will definitely be missed.

well i’ve gotta get some sleep. it’s been so awesome to have 2 days off because of ice this week already. i guess we have to go back sometime 🙁

why is it that no matter how many times you have heard something and agreed with it, that you always end up failing to do it? there are so many times that i either hear something or read something from the bible that is just screaming “listen bonnie!” and at the time i say “oh yeah” and then even days later i find myself continuing on with my way as if i hadn’t heard/seen it at all. then awhile down the road i’m reminded yet again and the cycle continues. i know i’m not the only one out there. doesn’t everyone yearn for someone to tell them exactly what they are supposed to be doing in life? so often someone does and we are too blinded by our own selfish desires to listen. and how many of us hear that little voice in our heads telling us to do or not do something and no matter how loud that voice gets we still choose to ignore it? how many of us take each and every second for granted as if we will have the next one and the next one only later to hear on the news of some freak accident that took the life of a little one or an unexpected illness claiming the life of someone’s loved one? i know you are thinking (as well as i am even typing this) that yeah yeah these are all great points but who cares. but really shouldn’t we all care? for in the next second i or you could die of a fluke accident whether it be a heart attack or a gun shot, both of which seem highly unlikely but don’t you think the people it happens to thought the same thing? and another thing….don’t you find it eerily funny that the people you find yourself judging at first sight often end up being your best friend or in some form a better friend to you than you ever thought possible? isn’t it funny how God works? how He can stick the very thing in your face that you try so hard to avoid? life is funny but God is even funnier. i’d like to spend a day with God and watch all the amazing things He can do…..but then again don’t I have that opportunity everyday? A friend to pop up just when you least expect it, a new born baby, a beautiful sunrise/sunset, hugs, kisses, that little tingle in your tummy when someone you love looks your way, the stars at night, dreams to follow, family and friends, a not so graceful moment just so you will take a moment to laugh at yourself, jelly donuts :), etc. thank you God!